No, this isn’t a book review but my personal opinion of the actual color blue.

What’s the value in making a definitive judgment of something so obviously subjective? Because as a “primary” color, blue is the most popular one in the world, and that level of authority and influence deserves some honest criticism (for a change).

As if dominating the sky and every single body of water wasn’t enough, people paint their houses and cars blue, wear blue jeans, and even get blue contact lenses! But here’s the truth: Not only is blue the single most overrated hue in the rainbow, it’s by far the worst.

From dull cornflower to boring cobalt to lifeless navy, blue overpromises and rarely delivers. And when it tries to get fancy by dabbling in turquoise, all it does is hurt the eyes. Or, posturing as a “serious” and “mysterious” midnight blue, just comes across as wannabe black.

Blue also has some problematic associations. For instance, blue has historically represented one gender to the exclusion of all others. Meanwhile, the phrase “boys in blue” is little more than a dog whistle in support of police brutality. And do you think it’s a coincidence that depression is called “feeling blue”?

It gets worse. What color does someone’s face turn when they’re choking to death? Or the veins in the wrist that people slit to off themselves? And don’t get me started on the agony of blue balls! Yes, a preference for blue is literally no different than inciting physical violence against innocent victims.

Why go blue when there are so many better colors out there? Take red, for instance. It’s bright, eye-catching, and fun. Think about apples, ladybugs, rubies, sports cars, even Santa Claus!

Which is why I carry around a yellow marker at all times. Because when you add that lovely tint to abysmal blue, you get gorgeous green, the color of grass, plants, trees…life itself.

In conclusion, the facts prove blue to be an objectively bad color, with anyone liking it as part of the problem. So, for those who want to be on the right side of history, I invite you to join with me today to BAN THE BLUE!